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The Bridegroom
I get quite a few emails from men asking why is it that there are no sites dedicated
to the groom, we all know that it's supposed to be the bride's big day but what about the
groom, surely it's his big day too?
Here are a few
bits and pieces to help you through the lead up and your big day.
Who Pays for what?
Well you asked the girl of your dreams and she said yes, so now it's down to that
old demon money and who pays for what. Traditionally the bride's father pays for most of
the wedding however in the new climate more couples like to take control of the wedding
plans and receive contributions towards the cost by both sets of parents. The bride's father will
still expect and more than likely demand to pay for a large proprtion of the wedding. Cost
wise, depending on what type of wedding you decide to have, it could be between £6,000 to
£20,000 or far higher.
Before you start arranging what you want it is a good idea to sit
down and work out what you can afford. if you are funding this yourself then remember it
may be the best day of your lives, however there are other days afterwards and you need
money to live on, so budget wisely and don't over commit. If you are getting contributions
then you must settle on a figure. Some parents decide to pay for a specific part of the
wedding.
Traditionally the Bridegroom pays for the following:
- The Bride’s engagement ring and wedding ring.
- Buttonholes for himself, Best Man, Ushers and Guests.
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- A car for the Groom and Best Man to the ceremony.
- A car for Bride and Groom to the reception.
- Church fees, choir etc.
- Flowers for the Bride and Bridesmaids.
- Flowers for the mothers of the Bride and Groom.
- Gifts for the Bride, Bridesmaids, Best Man and Ushers.
- The Honeymoon.
The financial part of the wedding usually causes the most stress
and tension between families than any other part which is why budgeting is so important.
Where and When
Now we have got that out of the way the next thing is to is decide the date and venues.
Having said that it's not that easy.
First you have to choose what type of ceremony and
where you want it then you will have to find out what dates are available. The chances are
if you go for a weekday you are more likely to book the venue you want and be closer to
your original date that you had planned for your wedding. Also tying in a venue for your
reception should be easier and this also could save your budget as midweek or out of
season booking should be slightly cheaper as most would be happy to take the additional
booking midweek.
The main drawback could be with guests having to organise themselves for a
weekday wedding. If after considering everything you decide you must have an in season
weekend wedding then book early as this will give you more choice.
Who and how many?
This is another possible argument waiting to happen. Depending on who's paying
and obviously your budget will decide roughly how many guest you can invite and who they
are. However make sure there is an even balance between both parties. As a rough guide
immediate family down to cousins are usually placed straight on the list, then most parents
have friends of the family who they must invite and then there are joint friends of the
couple and then close friends of the bride and close friends of the groom.
You can
also add work colleagues and additional acquaintances to the end of the list depending on
budget.
The next thing you need to do is break the list down to who attends the service.
This
usually goes down to family and close friends and work colleagues. The next thing is the
main reception and again it depends on budget, however as a guide this would be family and
close friends followed by a informal reception in the evening for all the rest of your
friends and colleagues to come along.
Some couples decide to have one reception only, in the
form of a stand up buffet. This usually brings the price down per head so that they can
invite more people.
The Best Man
Now this in theory should be easy; you choose your brother or your closest friend,
tell them to write a witty speech and that's that. However there's more to being a best man
and some consideration must be taken in choosing the man for the job
because there is quite a bit of
responsibility and you will need someone who is level headed to take on the role.
The best man is usually involved right from the start and this ensures that someone else
knows what's supposed to be happening. He will also liaise with the ushers in
organising their roles and additionally be on hand for fittings and
co-ordinating rehearsals.
Your Best Man may also help in choosing both your outfits and for the
collection of them if hired.
On your the wedding day he will be on hand to make sure you are ready
and he will try to keep you calm. Remember he is more than likely as nervous as you.
If you
are going on honeymoon he will take charge of your bags and passports
and he should have
the ring somewhere safe (hopefully). His main responsibility is to get you to the service
on time, well actually early. He can then dart around making sure all the usher are there
and that all is running smoothly, then back to check on you.
The best man will leave straight after you when you leave depart the service
for the reception. He will take the short cut so he arrives hopefully before you, if not directly behind you.
He will then attend to his duties during the reception and finally make
sure you leave on time.
The Stag Night
This usually is organised by the best man however it is a good idea to have some
form of input, also consider having it a good few days before the wedding as the night
before could cause allot of nauseating problem in the morning.
Well all that's left is to choose your outfit, the rings and book
your honeymoon destination.
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